Tuesday, November 27, 2007


The theme of tonight was me getting stiffed.

Now, most pizza drivers I know consider anything less than $1 to be a stiff, or not a tip. I got stiffed 7 times tonight out of 13 deliveries. I'm not sure I've ever had a night with a higher stiff percentage.

First order of the night was for $14.08. Guy hands me $20 and I hand him back $5 in singles. He stands there looking, obviously expecting his 92 cents. I don't have any change on me or in the car. I ask him if he has the 8 cents, and when he says no, I just give him the $1 and walk away. Stiff #1 = -$0.08.

Fourth order of the night, the customer doesn't even give me good instructions. I knock at the front door for what seemed like 5 minutes, seeing a light and tv on inside. Finally an older lady answers the door obviously confused to see me. She asks the name and directs me around back and up the stairs. A girl is waiting at the top of the stairs to hand me $20 for her $19.59 order, including a free pizza for her kid thanks to our reading program. Stiff #2 = $0.41.

Sixth order is $11.58 less than a mile from the store. Young man meets me outside, digs out $11 from his wallet, then adds 2 quarters and a dime. "Keep the 2 pennies," he says. Stiff #3 = $0.02

Ninth and tenth orders go together. Ninth order, customer has their kid stiff me. Kid hands me $10, $5, and a pile of quarters for the $19.57 order. I count the quarters and there's $3.00 I tell the girl that's not enough money. She goes back inside, comes back and drops more quarters into my hand. I count again, now we're up to $19.25. Still short by 32 cents. The woman inside the door says "he has $20" and I call back "no I don't." The girl looks on the floor and brings me 2 more quarters. Stiff #4 = $0.18.

Tenth order, teenager answers the door and hands me $10, $5, and a quarter for his $15.07 order. "Thanks for the 18 cents," I exclaim with glee as I hand him his food. Stiff #5 = $0.18.

Eleventh order is also less than a mile away. There's a note on the ticket "Be sure they have enough money." Apparently a driver got shorted there in the past. Woman gives me $20 for her $16.83 order and pockets the 3 $1's I hand her back. Stiff #6 = $0.17.

Thirteenth order, I pretty much knew it was coming, the customer had asked on the phone "What is the minimum amount for delivery?" Girl gives me $12 for her $11.70 order. Stiff #7 = $0.30.

Interesting discussion of the night consisted of trying to help Desiree understand how to handle a package. She has a broken phone from T-Mobile that she has tried 3 times to return, but it keeps coming back to her. Come to find out, except for letters to prison, she's never actually mailed anything.

Totals for the night were 13 deliveries, 41 miles, $15.20 in tips, and I drove 5 1/2 hours. I was afraid I was going to have to get clocked out manually as I was afraid I didn't make the minimum 5% in tips that the computer makes us declare, but my total sales delivered was $177.19 so my tip rate was 8.6%.

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